My name is Ine-Mari and I am a NLP- and Life coach who is passionate about helping people see the positive side of challenges. I help people in various forms to work around personal setbacks and problems and to find a way to redirect after life got in the way. As a parent of two teenagers (one diagnosed with ADHD) and a pilot wife, I am comfortable to guide in family challenges regarding these areas as well as couples therapy. In a company set-up, I enjoy turning a sales team from good to extraordinary by teaching each one to find their own strength. 

How did I recognize my niche?

When I was 5 and on my way to school, I asked my mother what type of activities they have in the “big school” for me to do. I was so excited about all the different interests covered that I tried as much as possible. During my school years, I did swimming, tennis, netball, hockey, and athletics in sport, I play violin and piano, played in an orchestra for the opera La Traviata at 18 years old, sang in the Bloemfontein Children’s choir, school choir, Year singing group, was part of the “Voortrekkers” movement as well as the Christian School camps and movement. In my last year of school, apart from being chosen as a leader in my school, I was also head of the school paper, head of the string ensemble, part of the choir leaders… – and took an extra subject in school to bring my academics up… – to say the least, I was busy. My social life and my after school activities pretty much was woven into one, however it was not without challenges. When I was 16, one of my friends passed away in a car accident. Apart from getting the terrible news, I also realized that I had seen the car after the accident, not knowing who was inside. It still have an impact on me today…

I sure tried everything there was to find out who I was or want to be. And still, I made the wrong choice when I chose B.Sc. Meteorology to study. I struggled to do my first year in Uni and after a year of bad academics, walked out, defeated, only to add depression to my list of life skills. I had no idea why I could not study, focus or how to understand the information that we needed, as well as built up a severe exam block due to my anxiety.

The next year, I was fortunate enough to walk past Isa Carstens Health and Skin Care Academy after visiting Stellenbosch University for my second option (at the dean of the economic faculty of the university,  I was promptly rejected due to my failed year in Pretoria.) Isa Carstens was in the office that day and took the time to give me an impromptu interview to her course. I was sure that at such an elite institution, places were already filled for the year and asked her if I can enroll for the next year… to my astonishment she said: “I had one cancellation this morning – would you like the place dear, as I think you will fit right in… and besides that, everybody needs a second chance in life…”

Her words formed my future – my second chance – and I dove into the course with everything in me. I loved the work and surprisingly could focus and understand all that I need to with minimum effort. I lived life at 150% and put my name in my hostel to be chosen as a leader for the next year. The course was brutal – a three-year course condensed into two, which meant that we could only miss two weeks during the whole two years should we need leave for illness etc. Life threw everything back at me to make me fail… but I was determined to pull through. I had German measles (for the second time in my life and yes, I am vaccinated as a child) and I was really sick – for two weeks, in my first year. Which left me no days off. In the second half of my first year, just after putting my name up for leader, I had a car accident and ended up in a wheelchair with two broken legs. My dream laid at my feet in that street, and when the ortho met me in the hospital, my words to him was the following: “Dr, do what you must, but I have to be in class on Monday.” He looked at me and said:’ You will be lucky if you can walk normally again in a year’s time. This is more serious than a weekend fix.”  As I lay there in the hospital for two weeks, I had to get around the hours of class that I am missing and standing between my future and me. It took a lot of mental work for me to not give up. I knew if I give up, I would not be able to go back as my parents could not afford another year. I was flown home for the next six weeks to recover – a thousand kilometers away to my parents’ house – and all I had while they were at work during the day was my thoughts and my broken body. I started my own exercises – we could not afford a physio. I massaged my legs every day. At night, when my brother was home from his flying training, he sat with me, talking about our childhood, and our dreams. I wrote to the academy, asking for them to send me all the work that I was missing. At first, they answered that it is no use, I can start again the next year, if I can walk… I was not going to start again. I requested the work a second time, and this time, a parcel with all the papers arrived at home (we did not have internet yet for emails). I pushed through the days, reading, learning, building myself up in information. I read every article about skin care that I could find. And slowly, with the help of my family, we built my broken body up. 

In December, I went to Stellenbosch and completed my exams, while my legs were still not healed. Instead of a wheelchair, I insisted on walking on crutches, ignoring the pain, so that I could do my practical massage, body, and facial trainings. I worked extra hours and gave up my holiday to work in a training salon, to build my hours back. I was chosen, in my absence to be head of the first-year group and social engagements of the hostel for the following year – a first win for me. 

In January, my boyfriend passed away in a car crash on his way to me. I only found out the next day (no cellphones yet). I had no time off to mourn. I pushed through my pain. Again, the delayed mourning is still impacting me until today, however I did learn how to handle loss and grief, to take time for it and to embrace healing steps today. 

In May that same year,  I got severe tonsillitis – while doing my clinical aromatherapy course – I pushed through with high fever (again, my tonsils were removed when I was 5…)

In December 1997 I became the first CIDESCO candidate to receive my diplomas after a severe car accident with no extra time given. (According to my teacher, it was the first case in the history of CIDESCO that they gave grant to exams due to my overtime work and not actual class time.)

My depression hit me 4 years later so hard that I had to stop working all together and I had to move back in with my parents. At the time I was an area representative for SDV Pharmaceuticals and was drinking the over-the-counter drug “thinz” to help me contain my hunger while on the road, manage my weight and keep me awake for the long hours I put in. I did not know that it was one molecule different than the medication Concerta that are given as ADHD meds today. All I know is that when I drank the meds, I was in complete control of my weight and racing thoughts. I crashed hard when it was taken off the market.  I was given another chance by Elize Brady to work part-time around my depression, and paid her back by introducing her product countrywide, instead of only available in the Western Cape. On my tour through SA, I met my husband, and moved back to Pretoria, the town of my first failed year. 

In 2004, I stopped my anti-depressants and up to today, did not take it again. My mind and I have reached a point where – even if you are in the place you don’t want to be, you will find a positive spot to have a better tomorrow. I opened a laser and skin care clinic – the first of its kind NOT to be opened by a dermatologist or plastic surgeon, in South Africa. My clients came from Pretoria, Johannesburg, Cape Town – even a few internationals that made sure they stopped by once or twice per year. I was attacked twice in that decade in Pretoria while driving – South Africans will know it as “smash and grab”. I worked from 2005-2013 in my laser clinic, loving every opportunity, hating every setback. I did not even realize that I made it through the 2008 financial depression until about 2016. Both my kids were born in Pretoria. 

My husband got a job in 2013 in Dubai, UAE, and we had to close my clinic. My heart was broken because in my head, I was not a success yet. And not being a success, meant for me that I failed. 8 years of my life – and I had to walk away. I did not make any profit, I survived in those years. Looking back, I now know that I kept all my staff going, as well as their families, but at the time, I only saw my failure. I came to Dubai defeated. Again, I had to face a new challenge and rise above. I saw it like when I was in my crash – I would do this on my own. My mind needs to get over the matter. I trained myself in the power of positive thinking. My mother was trained by Bob Proctor and she also coached me on the different sides of every story. I took the time to raise my kids, be a Mom and be there for them. I worked at their school and saw how the expat parents all struggle to help their kids without the support of family nearby. I saw the struggles of parents and the kids that also has learning challenges due to their non-neurotypical brains. 

Then COVID hit us, the struggle came closer to home. My son got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD directly after COVID. With high anxiety and very low body weight due to stress,  I could see he is in the same spot I was years back in Pretoria. When his diagnosis came, it looked like it was my brain that had been analyzed. My husband, an international airline pilot, who also struggled at school, said the same. We realized that we both might have ADHD as well, so I dove in to learn more about it and to see how I can help my son. 

NLP training opened my eyes to my own struggles and power that I gained by overcoming my life obstacles. It helped me to see where my 25-year experience in health and skin care therapy and sales training, trained me for coaching people. It showed me how to do a mind shift to put a bad situation into an opportunity and how to push through impossible circumstances. My eyes opened to my mother’s input of empathy and teaching me to see a problem from another’s point of view. 

I have now worked with people from all areas in life, people whose life has been stripped away by COVID, just by giving them a shoulder, an ear, and sometimes even a bit of my own experience, to push through to tomorrow, a better day. My eyes have opened to sales training due to my history with area representation, and the mistakes people make when trying to sell you products in shops like Sephora. My sales training is still very vivid in my mind, and I am itching to help others with their training. 

My passion, however, lies with the parents of expat children, pushing through every day, and especially those that struggle with ADHD.  This is our own struggle, and it is new every day. I have empathy and compassion and an insight into the inner working of the brain. This is something that again comes naturally, not just book knowledge, but an in-depth understanding of empathetic proportions. I know how it feels, and I know how it feels to be a parent of a child that struggle through it – bravely. My mission is to help parents to understand their children better – to help the children succeed with life skills. They need to understand that their world might not fit into the box of normal education, because it is so much bigger. It will only take a different set of skills to understand how their world works. Each one is unique and special – and can work amazing if given the right tools and cheerleaders (parents). 

My principles in my ethics are simple – I work ecological – meaning for the good of all. I work from my Christian perspective – unconditional love and acceptance…  All treatments and decisions are done and chosen by the client. One must trust their NLP coach and I am willing to walk the extra mile to earn that trust. 

If you would like to understand your relationship with your child better, or would like to bring your company’s sales team to a point where they will go the extra mile for the company without question, please fill in this form below so that we can connect on a free discovery call. I am looking forward to helping you with the power of mastering your mind and putting it into a healthy relationship with your body and your business.